Home » The Archives » Chapter 5 » Learning to Live in Paradise
| Re: Learning to Live in Paradise [message #1289 is a reply to message #1288] |
Thu, 26 July 2012 19:23   |
artisticrainey
Messages: 1228
Registered: July 2012
Location: Northern Ireland
Karma:
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Field Commander
Switzerland |
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Wednesday, March 6th 2068, 3:00am.
Elise sat in bed wide awake, her knees drawn up under her chin and her arms wrapped around them. It had happened again.
When will it stop?
She tried to close her eyes, but that only served to bring back the memories. The nightmare of her drowning, and of her parents and Jeff all dying, had being haunting her dreams. It was almost every night now that she'd wake in a sweat or crying; sometimes even calling out for people who were not there. Now, in her own apartment, she was alone with no one to comfort her. She stared off, not looking at anything in particular and wondering how much more she could take.
I can't go on like this indefinitely. I need some sleep.
She got off her bed and padded to the kitchen for a glass of water and then sat on her couch.
No use going back to bed. I'll never sleep.
She thought back to her earlier conversation on the balcony with Callie. They both had been relaxed and enjoying the evening. Elise had enjoyed Callie's company and had almost confided in her about the nightmares. But she hadn't. Feeling too silly, Elise had said nothing. She leaned over to the pile of manuals and such about flying, and in particular TB2. Virgil had given them to her for 'homework' as he'd called it. She absently turned the pages not really absorbing anything. She knew how to fly, but the simulator was a challenge, especially with Virgil being so picky! Yet Elise knew she could do it. The real question she feared the most was: "Could I fly it for real?" The thought of flying again made her feel uneasy and she didn't like it. Never had she feared being up in the air, yet now, since the crash, she was almost terrified.
Elise had not told anyone of her fear, thinking that Mr. Tracy would send her packing, and she had no job or home to go back to on the mainland. She thought about going to talk to Dianne, but didn't want to admit being a failure. She sighed and told herself to Suck it up and move on! then started reading the manual... again.
7:45 am seems like noon when you've been up since 3:00 am, thought Elise as she headed down to Thunderbird Two's hangar.
Virgil, of course, was already there. He looked thoughtfully at her as she approached him.
"Reporting for duty, boss," she said as she came to a halt in front of him.
Now that she was closer, he could see how tired she looked. "Are you ok?" His voice showed concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired. Didn't sleep too well last night," she lied. Last night? I haven't slept peacefully for quite a few nights!
Virgil almost asked if it was a nightmare but the look on her face told him the subject was closed. "Okay, well, we need to get going on the simulator. Today we get to fly in adverse weather conditions." He smiled but paid very close attention to Elise's reaction.
Oh that's just great, she thought. It was going to be a very long day.
An hour and a half into the session, Elise was not doing well and Virgil knew it. He'd seen her make mistakes that were okay for a rookie, but not a pilot of her caliber.
"Let's take a break and I'll go get us some coffee."
She smiled her thanks to him and was relieved to get out of the simulator. Virgil watched her walk away, stretching her back out as she did so. Something's wrong. I just know it.
He ventured off to get coffee and find Scott. Scott was in TB One's silo working with Christopher.
"Hey, Scott, you got a sec?" Virgil called out to his brother, who in turn looked down and replied, "Sure, hang on, be right there."
Moments later Scott strode over to where Virgil waited.
"What's up?"
One word was all Virgil replied with. "Elise."
Scott momentarily looked down, then back up at his brother.
"C'mon Virg, spill it, what's wrong?"
Virgil then told Scott about the morning training, about the mistakes she'd made, and how tired she was.
"She's avoiding answering any questions about her being tired, Scott, and I'm sure she's having that nightmare again."
"Do you think it's PTSD?" Scott asked.
"Yes, I do. I'll know for sure when I get back. I'm going to simulate flying '2 through a snowstorm and her reaction will tell me all. If it's what we think it is, bro, she's going to need help, whether she wants it or not."
Scott nodded in agreement. "I know, Virg, I know," replied Scott, not exactly relishing the idea of telling Elise what they thought was wrong. He asked Virgil to call him later.
Scott finished up with Chris a little earlier so he could go and talk to Dianne. He knew all about flying, but about fixing the fear of it? Not his specialty, hence the talk with Dianne. He didn't want to tell his father, not yet anyway, but Dianne needed to know now.
Virgil had returned to the simulator to find Elise back in it, resting her head, eyes closed.
"Am I that boring?" he asked, handing her a cup of coffee.
Her eyes flew open. She hadn't realised she'd fallen asleep. "Oh, no, it's not you, I was just relaxing a bit. Thanks for this," she answered, holding up the coffee and sipping it.
A while later, Virgil set up the simulator for a severe snowstorm, then gave Elise the go ahead to fly. Placing the helmet which enabled her to visualize in 3-D and 180 degree peripheral vision, Elise proceeded to go through her flight checks and fire up the engines. The first part of the flight was encountering strong winds, then rain and storms. Virgil carefully monitored her timing and reactions. So far she was okay, but as the rain storm turned into a thunderstorm he noticed her uneasiness.
"You're doing good, Elise, keep focused." His voice rang in her helmet.
She felt her hands start to become clammy, and found herself taking deeper breaths. Virgil hadn't told her about the snowstorm, not because he wanted to be unfeeling, but he wanted to see her gut reactions to a sudden weather change without warning, which on occasion had happened.
"C'mon, girl, you can do this. It's just rain, for Pete's sake." Elise was talking herself through the flight.
Handling TB2 wasn't the problem, it was her own mind that was causing the problem. Suddenly the wind strength increased, causing a wind shear which rocked TB2. Elise reacted appropriately and maneuvered the machine to stay on course. Virgil was impressed, she was doing everything she should, but then he hadn't programmed the snow until now. His fingers typed in the codes and he sat back to watch. Elise paid close attention to every instrument on the control panel and then she looked up and saw it in the distance.
Snow!
She squeezed her eyes tight two or three times, telling herself over and over that it was okay, TB2 was not the Tracy helijet. As she flew closer to the impending snowstorm, she noticed a mountain that hadn't been there before. In fact it reared up in front of her, causing her to make a violent move to the left. TB2 shook at the sudden change of flight pattern, and Elise fought to regain control.
Virgil could see on his panel screen exactly what the pilot in the simulator could see, and all he saw was a snowstorm and open land. There was no mountain, and he was puzzled as to why she veered off violently.
Inside the simulator, Elise was straining to control TB2. "Dammit! I can't get her nose up! We're going to hit!"
She looked up briefly and saw the snow covered mountain heading towards her rapidly. It was no use, she couldn't save the flight, and she slammed into the side of the mountain.
Virgil looked at his screen, stunned. What she'd actually done was rolled TB2 over to her side and nose dived straight into the ground. As soon as he'd heard the words "WE'RE going to hit!" he knew instantaneously she was talking about herself and his father. Elise was back in the helijet and reliving the crash.
He rushed over to the simulator where all kinds of alarms were going off and reached in to Elise. She had taken her helmet off and was leaning over the controls, visibly shaking.
"Elise?"
"I can't....I ca....I can't do this, I can't do this anymore," she answered, not looking at him.
He leaned in and softly touched her arm. "It's going to be okay, Elise. C'mon on out and take it easy, honey."
She accepted his offer of help out of the simulator and they went and sat down. "What the hell am I doing this for? I can't make it, What am I going to do?" she half sobbed as tears threatened to spill.
"It's a delayed reaction to the crash you and Dad had, Elise. It's not your fault."
She looked at him increduously. "Virgil, I slammed TB2 into a MOUNTAIN! You saw me do it!"
He chose his next words carefully, seeing that she was totally convinced she'd hit a mountain.
"Elise, you didn't hit a mountain. You hit the ground." She continued to look at him like he'd grown another head that very second.
"There was no mountain, you rolled and dove into the ground. I think what you saw was a flashback and the seeming reality of it made you react the way you did." He paused for a moment then continued, "You've not been sleeping well have you?"
She shook her head in reply.
"Nightmares again?"
"Yes," she answered in a small voice.
"Elise?" This time she looked at him, as he reached over and placed his hand over hers, giving it a small squeeze.
"I think you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and what you're going through is a common reaction."
Elise was too shocked to say anything, so Virgil pressed on. "Why don't you go and talk to Dianne? I know she'd understand and we're all here to help, too."
She looked directly at him, not saying anything and then stood up.
"I need to get out of here. I need to be alone right now." She started to head off, shaking her head as if to try to fathom what Virgil had just said. She hadn't gotten far when Virgil trotted up and stood in front of her, causing her to stop.
"Elise, you are a great pilot, and if you need help with anything, we will be here for you. You're part of the family of International Rescue now, and that's what we do for each other."
"I've always been alone Virgil, I don't know if I can be part of a family anymore. I'm sorry." she quietly replied, and then sidestepped around him to head back to her apartment.
Virgil swore to himself and then raised his wrist to call Scott.
Post by FrankieCTB2 on 12/03/2005
  
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