Home » The Archives » Chapter 5 » Learning to Live in Paradise
| Re: Learning to Live in Paradise [message #1309 is a reply to message #1308] |
Thu, 26 July 2012 19:45   |
artisticrainey
Messages: 1228
Registered: July 2012
Location: Northern Ireland
Karma:
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Field Commander
Switzerland |
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Elise took a deep breath, then suddenly jumped up, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm not...I mean...," she began to fluster. "Dammit!" I have NEVER been like this is my entire life!"
Elise's anger started to surface. Dianne patiently watched as the young pilot started to pace and wrestle with her emotions.
"I am a professional pilot! For Pete's sake, I served in the Air Force. I've flown high tech jets and helijets for years without any incident and I didn't fall apart, so why now, why this now!" Elise turned pleading, frightened eyes to Dianne.
"We talked a little about your parents and the accident that claimed their lives," Dianne began carefully. "You survived while they did not. Tell me: before you were hired at Tracy Industries, did you ever have any other similar situations? Where you were the only one or one of just a few to survive while others around you died?"
"No... not that I was involved in. But there were some that I knew who didn't make it back from a mission."
Elise had now sat down and spoke quietly. "It's tough, losing your buddies, but you just get it on with it, you know?" She looked at Dianne as if the other woman knew what it was like. "It was the military, you just followed orders. You weren't given time to think about what happened, so I didn't." Elise smiled sadly, remembering things she had since long forgotten. "Ask Scott; he'll tell you how it was," she added softly.
Dianne nodded and scribbled some notes. Elise watched her and then asked, "Has Mr. Tracy gone through anything like this since the accident?"
Dianne nodded. "Not so much about his own experience; he doesn't remember much about that. But it did bring forth a lot of memories of his first wife, of situations that his sons have been in where they've been close to death..."
She looked Elise in the eye, and suddenly the pilot noticed how very tired the doctor looked. "It's brought up a lot of grief for me as well. I, at least, am trained to handle it. But I won't tell you it's easy."
"It seems nothing in my life has been 'easy' since that crash. The last 3 months have seemed like years. My whole life has been turned upside down, and I'm not sure... I can get through this." Elise bit back the threatening tears. She turned away from Dianne and spoke so quietly that the doctor strained to hear her. "What happens if I can't get over this? What if I can't ever fly again?"
Dianne watched as Elise fought the turmoil inside her. "Elise, we are going to take this one baby step at a time. Now is not the time to think about flying. Right now, you have to think about you, and only you." She smiled softly. "You are not alone Elise, not this time."
She reached over and took Elise's hand, gently squeezing it to reassure herself as much as the pilot that they would get through this.
"The one thing that you will learn as we progress is that this wasn't your fault. Not what happened to your parents. Not what happened to Jeff. It wasn't your fault!" Dianne emphasized the last four words.
"It's something that everyone here has either had to learn, or will have to learn." She paused, and gazed at Elise. "But first, as I said, we need to make sure you're getting the rest needed to deal with daily living. And we will work on taking command of those nightmares as well. One step at a time."
"Now, you need to relax. I'm going to teach you a relaxation technique that Kyrano taught me. Come join me."
Dianne put down her data pad and, after moving a chair or two, stretched out on the floor. Elise watched feeling a little unsure and nervous.
"Trust me." Dianne smiled at her.
Elise joined the other woman on the floor, not sure what was going on, but willing to try nonetheless. Once they were both positioned on their backs, Dianne began.
"First close your eyes, and breath in through your nose and slowly out of your mouth." They both did this a few times and then Dianne added, "Now lay your arms flat by your sides, palms facing up as you continue to breathe."
Elise obeyed and felt herself starting to relax. "How are you feeling?" Dianne asked.
"Okay, I guess. It feels weird, but nice."
"That's good. Now flex your right foot down and then up. Do it 5 times and relax. Then we'll do the same with the other foot."
As they continued, Dianne opened her eyes and looked over at her patient. Elise still had her eyes closed and was following along.
"Okay, Elise. Next we're going to flex the lower leg, in the same way as our feet." The two women continued in this way for some time, flexing each part of their bodies and then flexing the same parts in an alternating pattern. "It's time to open your eyes, Elise." Dianne said after they had lay motionless for a few moments. "Roll to your left side like this and sit up, legs crossed."
Elise followed Dianne's example and they were now sitting 'Indian style', both facing forward. "How are you feeling?" asked Dianne.
"Better." Elise smiled slightly.
"Good."
They remained sitting as they continued some deep breathing exercises, relaxing each muscle as they did so. When they had finished Dianne told Elise she wanted her to practice the relaxation exercises on her own, as well as doing them at her therapy sessions.
"It will help Elise. I know from experience, they work." She paused, then said, "The sleeping pills I prescribed will only last you for five days. By that time, we'll re-evaluate your physical condition and see what else you may need in the way of pharmaceuticals." Dianne smiled. "Expect to do a lot of talking and listening."
"It's going to be hard, but I'll try. I have to; I want to get back in the air. Flying is all I know, and besides, I have no place else to go," Elise replied.
"You won't need to worry about that, you have a home here, Elise. Granted it's not your 'average' conventional type home, but it'll be home to you eventually!" Dianne chuckled as she thought to herself This place is anything BUT conventional!
Before the session was completely over Elise had one more question.
"Dr. Tracy?"
"Yes?"
"Umm...you told me yesterday that I was grounded from the simulator as well as the air; so...umm... what do you suggest I do in the meantime, outside of these sessions, that is?"
Dianne thought for a moment. "There are some other skills that you need to learn, such as rock climbing and rappelling, that you could work on. And you could also begin familiarizing yourself with the auxiliary equipment. Ask Scott. He'll know if there's anything else he feels you could be learning while you're grounded."
She wagged a finger at Elise. "But for the next five days, you need to relax. Your body is healed from the accident, but your spirit needs time to do so, too. So, no alarm clocks." She cocked her head at Elise. "Do you keep a journal?"
"No...Should I?" Elise answered, puzzled by the question.
"I would like you to. Especially if you have any nightmares, or just thoughts you feel could be relevant during our sessions. And I want you to rate your mood when you write. Rate it from one to ten with one being extremely sad or angry and ten being extremely happy or hopeful. That way, we'll have something to refer to. Do you mind?" Dianne asked.
"No, I mean, sure, I'll write stuff down. I used to keep a diary when I was about 12, just the usual stuff, boys, school, that kind of stuff."
"Yes I know!" Dianne smiled, thinking about her own daughter.
"Well, I need to check on Jeff and you need some rest, young lady. I will check in with you tomorrow, okay?" Dianne stood up to leave, and Elise walked with her.
"Thanks, Dr. Tracy." Elise said.
"You're welcome. It's what I'm here for," Dianne responded.
She gave Elise one last encouraging smile, and then headed back to the Villa on foot.
Back in her apartment, Elise got a glass of water and headed for bed. She took the sleeping pill and nestled down into the covers. Before turning out the light she reached over to the photo of herself and her parents, lovingly running her fingers over it.
"I love you both, and miss you so very much." she whispered. "Please help me to be strong. I need you to get me through this."
As a few tears trickled down her cheek, she softly kissed her parents then, replacing the photo, she turned off the light and closed her eyes, desperately wanting the sleep that Dianne had promised would come.
Post by FrankieCTB2 on 29/03/2005
  
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